Best of Self
by celticgina
Summary: A one Shot that a persistent Bunny demanded.  Some real conversation.  Review?


**I know I am in the middle of another story, but this bunny would not be denied. And I knew until this was written, nothing else would happen. This is just a oneshot. Enjoy!**

**DISCLAIMER: Own my Jets Jersey, but not Mark Sanchez or these characters.**

**BEST OF SELF**

Annie Walker stalked into Allen's. She went right up to the bar, ordered two beers, four shots and brought them over to Auggie's table. At her approach, his head went up and a half smile formed. A few bottles and what sounded like a tray with what he was guess were shots hit the table. He had been through this routine before. He knew what was coming.

"Please tell me this seat is not taken? Jesus Auggie, what is with men anyway these days? Why can't they just enjoy themselves. Why are they always so serious?"

"Again, Annie? Really? How many does this make in the last year?"

"Oh not you too, Auggie. Have a shot. I don't want to drink alone and it's not like you're driving."

"Annie, thanks for asking, but yeah, I am on my own right now. That seat was just vacated by a young woman who actually thought baby talk was attractive. When you don't have sight, there is nothing worse than a bad voice or baby talk"

Annie almost spit out the beer she was using to chase the shot. At least it was nice to know she wasn't alone in the disastrous romance department.

"Baby talk? Was that just for you or does she talk that way to everyone?"

"Apparently, everyone. And she was persistent, too. I finally told her I couldn't understand a word she was saying. She left right after. I may not have been a gentleman about it."

"Well thanks for that. I'm glad it isn't just me."

"Speaking of you, what happened this time? I thought your liked this one. This was the best your sister had done so far, you said. What was wrong with Brick?"

"Brock, Auggie, his name is Brock. He is a nice guy. I liked him well enough."

"So why are you crying in my pretzels then?"

"First of all, I am not crying and there are no pretzels. I am aggravated. That's a completely different thing. It happened again, Auggie. Is there something wrong with me?"

"You want a list?"

"Thanks. No, really. I am beginning to wonder. Every guy I date lately all want to get serious so fast. They all pull out the L word way too fast for my comfort zone."

"And you don't love them?"

"I want to. I don't want to end up alone, the crazy spinster aunt living in my sister's gate house forever. I do want to find someone. I just don't feel like I fall in love that fast. Oh, here, have the other shot with me."

They drank and sat quietly in a comfortable silence for a few moments. Annie watched Auggie take in the sounds of the bar. He caught so much with just his ears. They had become even closer in the last year or so since the debacle in Sri Lanka. It had taken her some time to come back and he was there for her every step. Finally, he convinced her to jump back in the dating pool. It had been a mixed bag. Some dates were casual and fun. A few guys had gone to become serious. And then the problem began each time. They would profess their love or try to move the relationship to another level and she would bail. Every time, Auggie would be there to conduct the post mortem.

"I don't know what's wrong with me?"

Auggie listened as Annie described how Brick, no Brock had taken her to a lovely picnic. The attorney for a private think tank, he was smart and Annie really liked him. It was a rare home run that her sister had hit in her matchmaking. But apparently, he poured champagne then he poured out his heart too. That was Annie's cue to find an exit.

"Auggie! Why can't I feel it or say it back?"

He took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. He could hear the real pain and confusion in her voice. This might not be the ideal location for this talk, but it was time to say it.

"Annie, don't get mad here, but maybe, just maybe, you're not over…"

She knew what he was trying to not say. She was not surprised he finally said it out loud to her.

"No, Auggie. That's not it, really. I am over him. In some ways, I passed that hurdle a long time ago. When he left me that first time, I was devastated. But seeing him again, through the prism of my experience as an agent, it was different somehow. He bailed on me again in Sri Lanka. I knew he always would. I mourned his death and the death of what I thought I had lost. But that's gone and I really have moved forward."

"So, if it's not that, then what? It's hard to do this job and not be open about it to someone. It's why they like us to date within the agency. Less stress if you know your girlfriend really doesn't work for the Smithsonian."

"Maybe that is it. Maybe I can't tell them about the real me and I am holding back? I don't know anymore. How do you know if you are really in love?"

"Do I look like the love guru here?"

"Maybe not, but you have an awful lot of experience."

"Look, I can only tell you what my brothers have told me. When you find the person who makes you feel like your best self, the person who you feel gets you, the person who you want to share it all with, then that's it. And that is all you are getting from me on this. Way too serious for a Friday night at Allen's."

He reached over and squeezed her arm and then took another long drink. They sat for like that; his hand on her arm and drank quietly. Finally, she broke the silence.

"I think that's beautiful. Have you ever found that person?"

Suddenly, his eyes shuttered. She cursed herself for asking the question. Of course, Natasha. He had been in love with her, she was sure. It was lousy of her to even ask.

"Never mind, I am sorry."

"No, fair question, given the conversation, I guess. Yeah, I think I almost felt that way once. But since I really couldn't share my whole self, maybe not."

"Ok then. So much for true love. How about another round?"

He smiled at her attempt to change the subject. Suddenly, he was very tired. It had been a long week and trying to explain about love and losing love wore him out. He shook his head and pulled out the white cane.

"Actually, I hate to drink and run, but I am pretty beat. I am getting a cab home. I suggest you do the same."

"OK, no driving for me. I actually took a cab here. I'll call you tomorrow?"

He gave her arm another squeeze and smiled at her. Normally, he would have stayed and talked this out, but somehow, he wasn't up to discussing her love life tonight. He had begun to wish, well, it was pointless to wish. She saw him as a friend only. He wasn't going to blow that.

"Yeah, that's good."

Annie watched him walk out using his cane and charm to wind through the crowd. Big Tim the bartender had seen him get up and was already on the phone calling him a car. Everyone loved Auggie.

The waitress stopped past with another beer and a bowl of pretzels. Placing it on the table, she smiled at Annie.

"Auggie said to bring this to you. He said to tell you that crying into your beer is pointless without pretzels too!"

Annie laughed and thanked the woman. That was so typical of Auggie. He took such good care of her. She knew she never would have survived any of her time with the CIA without him. He really found the best in…

Oh my God.

Auggie.

Her best self, he had said. The person who gets you. The person you want to share it all with. Auggie.

Auggie?

Auggie.

It was the scales falling from her eyes. The light bulb went on with a blinding intensity.

Auggie.

When the hell did she fall for Auggie? She thought back. She had felt this way for a long time. Their connection had been immediate, but this feeling had been slow and gradual. It wasn't like she hadn't been aware of him as a man. You couldn't be with him and not notice. He was very cute. He was smart and funny and strong in all the right ways. Of course, Auggie. Women always fell all over him. And now she was added to the list. But he didn't see her that way, did he? No. They were friends. Crap, she had been telling him about her dates like he was her college roommate or something.

Now what?

She downed the beer and had another at the bar quietly. This was huge. What did she do with this? She mentally reviewed. He had always found a way to make fun of the other guys. Was that a brother thing or maybe a jealous thing? Damn, she wished she knew. She looked up from her beer to see that Big Tim had backed her up. Ok. One last beer and she was out of here. A few girls from travel support stopped past and chatted. She knew she smiled appropriately, but her mind was not with them. It was with a tall, brunette whose eyes managed to smile even as they were sightless.

By the time she left Allen's she was not at her most coherent. Big Tim behind the bar called her a cab and she sat back, quietly. Suddenly, she decided to take the bull by the horns. Even as a small sober voice in the corner of her mind told her this was a mistake, the bigger part of herself took over. That part gave the driver Auggie's address.

In his apartment, Auggie was replaying the conversation with Annie. So, she was over Mercer. Well that was good news. And she had dated enough to have a rebound guy. Each time one of those guys got closer, he felt himself holding his breath. She saw him as a buddy. He was the shoulder to cry on. He was about at the end of his patience with that. But he worried he might have tipped his hand talking about love. He had run out of Allen's so fast, he was sure she knew something was wrong. After trying to read, he was about to just go to sleep when there was a knock at his door.

"Auggie?"

Her voice was muffled by the heavy door, but he would know it anywhere, anyhow. He slid the door open. If she was coming to cry about Brick or Brock, he was sending her home right away.

"Annie?"

"The Taxi is downstairs waiting. I am probably going to regret this. I know now. I figured it out. So, I am just going to say it. You. It's you. I can't believe it took me this long to figure this out. My best self. The person who gets me. Who I always want to share it with always. You. So, now you know. I am sure you didn't want to ever hear this. But there it is. I'm going now."

She turned and was surprised he was able to find her arm and grab it with such accuracy. He pulled her inside, taking her other arm as she stumbled a little.

"Annie? You don't do that. You don't come up here and drop that and leave. Come in here now."

He pulled her over to the sofa and sat her down. Going to the window, he called out to the cab. Getting the driver's attention, he told him to take off. Fortunately it was one Auggie knew. He told the guy to put it on his bill. The driver smiled. He liked Auggie and was always impressed at the quality and quantity of the women he attracted.

Auggie turned and made his way back. Annie watched him manouever around without a cane in his own apartment, moving confidently. He had a half smile on his face. She wasn't sure if that was good or bad. What she said echoed in her own head. What the hell had she done. That tiny sober voice reminded her this was a really bad idea. Putting her head in her hands she winced. That sober voice was getting louder, and it's comments were not pretty.

"Annie?"

He sat down next to her and felt for her hands. Once he realized they were over her face, he pulled them off.

"Annie? What was that? Was it the beer and shots talking? Where are you coming from?"

His mind was reeling with what she said. If she was just drunk and feeling sorry for herself, it would probably kill him. He was almost afraid to hope. He pulled his hands into his and felt them curl into his.

"Annie?"

"ohhh Auggie. I am sorry. I am so sorry."

Damn. Not what he wanted to hear.

"What exactly are you sorry about?"

"I had no right to do this to you. It wasn't the beer talking. I wish I could say I was feeling drunk and lonely and something equally stupid. But that's not it. You explained it and it was like a light went off. It's you. I'm sorry. I know you don't want to hear this. I know you think of me as a friend only. Just please tell me I haven't really screwed this up and I will get out of here."

She began to pull her hands away. He didn't let her. He held onto her hands and pulled her closer.

"Annie. I need you to be clear. What do you mean, it's me?"

He wasn't going to let her pretend to be too drunk to talk. He wanted to know. He was wearing a t-shirt and sleep pants. His hair was all over the place. She wanted nothing more than to lean into the strength that was holding her on the sofa. But it was the look in his eyes that gave her the courage. She had already said it. In for a penny, her father used to say. Commit to the course. So she closed her eyes and took the leap.

"You told me what your brother said. About how being your best self. And I realized I am my best self with you. You. It's you Auggie. I don't know, maybe that's why Brock and those guys never seemed right. You are right. I know you think of me as just a friend. I'm sorry if you didn't want to hear this."

She didn't see the smile growing on his face. All she felt was him pull her closer. She almost fell into him. His hands came up from her hands to cup her face.

"It took you long enough Annie. If I had heard about one more date…well, no more. It's me, just me. You got that?"

Just before his lips came down over hers, she murmured, "Yes, Auggie"

**I know you all what to see what happens after this, but not this time, kids. But this bunny demands reviews anyway!**


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